I am interested in dedicated, extended processes in a group, like long-term relationships, like Club de la Faye’s ‘Rituel du Papillon’ project, like Pina Bausch worked with her family of dancers, like Frank recording an album. Where the unique inner culture is shaped, where unwritten law is clear to everyone that everyone feels responsibility to hop into a leader’s role when needed; where everyone understands that we all have to get a little bit wilder…and a little bit honest, de-sweetening our relationships.
I want to put myself occasionally in a vulnerable position to grow together with my students. I want to occasionally become their pupil. I want to empower them and let go, wishing they will become better than me.
My intention is to be contagious with what I have to offer. And what inspires others depends mostly on them. And I want them to understand that. Understand that it takes two to tango. That we should always take active part, even as receivers, followers, audience. And remember that it’s everyone’s job to share their treasures with the world without hiding behind ‘un-readiness’, behind “not an expert”, or “who am I to teach you anything”. Stay humble, but be powerful. And use it for something good.
There’s tens of ways of serving. Sometimes we have to just shut up and listen, sometimes we need to question and shake somebody back to the right track, sometimes we need to play, touch or seduce someone, because (s)he needs to get into the body. Sometimes harsh feedback. Sometimes unconditional love.
I want students to reflect not only by answering, but by asking others good questions, really seeing each other. To faster get under the surface.
I feel I need to stay aware of that I might impose on students my way of expression, interaction, evaluation.
‘Sensous’ for me means integral. A healthy balance to one-sidedness of rational education, where the Head rules and deprives of juice.
I am inspired to work with different energies in connecting to space and each other.
Prioritizing variety also accidently helped me solve the dilemma: should I teach what I am already good at OR should I design and try out something new again? I need to bring both to play, 2 different classes, 2 different focuses. And one joker. Like my name is still a joker. And my alternative child that has been seeded, but when it comes and in which form is yet unknown. At this stage of the process, I will call myself “the (w)Hole”. The (w)Hole, slowly finding her child.